Lemme get this straight.
I like being busy.
I'm also somewhat of a perfectionist. Everything has to be organized in terms of what is about to happen. My room, however, is a mess.
I like December. About the most hectic (incidentally also the last) month of the year. Also the month where we get lots of holidays from school.
My schedule is filled, but I like that. Seeing as its the hols, long-lost friends are seen again (to my delight) but of course I need to know exactly when, where, why, how. I don't like it when I person says "I'm not sure" when asked whether (s)he can come out somewhere.
December- the month when my parents are working so much (they work with Russian tourists, who come in hordes to Dubai) that they don't even notice me. I like that.
December- also when, over here, is not cold. I hate the cold! It's also the month for shopping... for restaurants... for appointments for hair, taking extra lessons with my best friend Christina (who teaches ice-skating)...
I love December, the month when my calendar is over-filled.
Thursday, December 29, 2005
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
The Consequences Of Excess Chocolate
Huh.
So I like chocolate. Big deal. Doesn't everyone?
There are just some of those times when you eat a little more chocolate than you're supposed to, so I'm going to investigate what happens when you eat a little more of that drug than you planned.
Advantages:
So I like chocolate. Big deal. Doesn't everyone?
There are just some of those times when you eat a little more chocolate than you're supposed to, so I'm going to investigate what happens when you eat a little more of that drug than you planned.
Advantages:
- It tastes nice. Duh.
- It makes you feel good about yourself.
- It solves your problems.
- It's easy to get.
- It's your best friend.
- It understands how you feel and is very sympathetic.
- It doesn't judge.
- Sometimes, after the "excess chocolate" incident, you fall in love with the next guy you see.
Disadvantages:
- It makes you feel light-headed.
- It's sticky.
- It makes you thirsty.
- It adds weight.
- It can betray you.
- It's bad for your teeth
- The word "excess"
- Sometimes, after the "excess chocolate" incident, you fall in love with the next guy you see.
The verdict? Chocolate's good.
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
System Of A Down
As the century nears to its formidable end, our global experience of universal proportions, predicted by many greats, will arrive at our solar system, to our system of a down. Authoritarian oppression, family abuse, depression caused by conformity, and economic devastation will be neutralized by technological terrorism in times of complete chaos. Control will never again be gained for toleration will become extinct. A husband quarelling with his wife will not think twice or regret his spent bullet. Hungry children will not spare the grocer. Remorse in all forms will be removed from human thoughts and actions. Freedom will only be available through revolution or death. The system of a down is unavoidable as life on this planet becomes unnecessary.
The hand has five fingers, capable and powerful, with the ability to destroy as well as create. We have the power to stop and reverse the tides of time by making our awareness of abuse known to the powers of industry and their uncouth political arms. Only by raising this awareness and promoting personal peace within today's self-defeatist society, can we allow the planet a chance to avoid self-destruction!
Open your eyes, open your mouths, close your hands and make a fist.
--System Of A Down
The hand has five fingers, capable and powerful, with the ability to destroy as well as create. We have the power to stop and reverse the tides of time by making our awareness of abuse known to the powers of industry and their uncouth political arms. Only by raising this awareness and promoting personal peace within today's self-defeatist society, can we allow the planet a chance to avoid self-destruction!
Open your eyes, open your mouths, close your hands and make a fist.
--System Of A Down
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
Where Are The Immortals?
The search for power, the stink of greed.
On humanity and kindness we all feed.
We fantasize, we imagine, we dream,
To height and prosperity we beam.
We look up, see the success in our mind's eye,
See all the things that money can buy.
We grasp, we choke, we smother,
And to look back we don't even bother.
We snatch the innocent, crush the good,
We push anything that on our way stood.
We stamp, we kill, we steal,
Then we just plan our next meal.
We destruct the pure, we destroy all beauty,
Try to find a way to escape mortality.
The stench is getting strong, nausea is taking over,
But only some can smell it, they don't run for cover.
Those who see, those who know,
Those who haven't stooped so low.
Those who hold, who grip, but with care,
Those who come out of their lair.
They are the immortal, they are the gods,
They don't wait until He nods.
But where has all the goodness gone?
Crushed, destroyed... what have we done?
We close our eyes, tears of blood fall down,
In seas of delirium and fantasy we drown.
But we are humans, after all. We never learn.
When will the immortals take me while I burn?
By Obsession Pathetique, 10th September 2005
On humanity and kindness we all feed.
We fantasize, we imagine, we dream,
To height and prosperity we beam.
We look up, see the success in our mind's eye,
See all the things that money can buy.
We grasp, we choke, we smother,
And to look back we don't even bother.
We snatch the innocent, crush the good,
We push anything that on our way stood.
We stamp, we kill, we steal,
Then we just plan our next meal.
We destruct the pure, we destroy all beauty,
Try to find a way to escape mortality.
The stench is getting strong, nausea is taking over,
But only some can smell it, they don't run for cover.
Those who see, those who know,
Those who haven't stooped so low.
Those who hold, who grip, but with care,
Those who come out of their lair.
They are the immortal, they are the gods,
They don't wait until He nods.
But where has all the goodness gone?
Crushed, destroyed... what have we done?
We close our eyes, tears of blood fall down,
In seas of delirium and fantasy we drown.
But we are humans, after all. We never learn.
When will the immortals take me while I burn?
By Obsession Pathetique, 10th September 2005
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
21 Questions
- Now tell me, don't we all live with our eyes closed?
- Isn't our mind completely protected?
- Will we never open our eyes, mind and heart?
- Where is Lady Justice when we need her?
- Are we always surrounded by false dreams?
- Why do we care so much about ourselves?
- "Hold my breath as I wish for death"- why has the Lady abandoned us?
- What future is there for us, when all we close our eyes to is death and destruction?
- Are they really kind?
- Why do some know and others ignore- and yet some others don't even realize?
- Is all they see perfection?
- Are they even happy?
- Where is the limit to selfishness and greed?
- And what is there to gain?
- Why are we so completely absorbed in ourselves?
- Why do people not understand?
- Why do they cover their ears, close their eyes, shut their minds and protect their hearts?
- What are they hoping for?
- Why do these people who understand and realize act so indirectly?
- Why am I asking these questions, if they will never be understood anyway?
- Do you even care?
Thursday, September 08, 2005
Yes, peoples
Yes, peoples, I have left this blog unattended for far too long.
I'm sorry!!
Well I've been all busy with school, have all the great teachers... except Mr. Saab, who I don't have :( Sad, sad.
So what am I supposed to write about? How great school is? You don't wanna hear that.
Watch this space
I'm sorry!!
Well I've been all busy with school, have all the great teachers... except Mr. Saab, who I don't have :( Sad, sad.
So what am I supposed to write about? How great school is? You don't wanna hear that.
Watch this space
Sunday, August 21, 2005
Rembrandt
You are right. It was despicable the way I left you. Worse, it was cowardly. I promise you that when we meet again, I shall let you say all you have to say.
I myself have this theory about Rembrandt. I have spent many hours studying his paintings everywhere- in Amsterdam, Chicago, New York, or wherever I find them- and I do believe as I told you that so many great souls could not have existed as Rembrandt's paintings would have us believe.
This is my theory, and please bear in mind when you read it that it accommodates all the elements involved. And this accommodation used to be the measure of the elegance of theories... before the word "science" came to mean what it means today.
I believe that Rembrandt sold his soul to the Devil when he was a young man. It was a simple bargain. The Devil promised to make Rembrandt the most famous painter of his time. The Devil sent hordes of mortals to Rembrandt for portraits. He gave wealth to Rembrandt, he gave him a house in Amsterdam, a wife and later a mistress, because he was sure he would have Rembrandt's soul in the end.
But Rembrandt had been changed by his encounter with the Devil. Having seen such undeniable evidence of evil, he found himself obsessed with the question What is good? He searched the faces of his subjects for their inner divinity; and to his amazement he was able to see the spark of it in the most unworthy of men.
His skill was such- and please understand, he had got no skill from the Devil; the skill was his to begin with- that not only could he see that goodness, he could paint it; he could allow his knowledge of it, and his faith in it, to suffuse the whole.
With each portrait he understood the grace and goodness of mankind ever more deeply. He understood the capacity for compassion and for wisdom which resides in every soul. His skill increased as he continued; the flash of the infinite became ever more subtle; the person himself ever more particular; and more grand and serene and magnificent each work.
At last the faces Rembrandt painted were not flesh-and-blood faces at all. They were spiritual countenances, portraits of what lay within the body of the man or the woman; they were visions of what that person was at his or her finest hour, of what that person stood to become.
This is why the merchants of the Drapers' Guild look like the oldest and wisest of God's saints.
But nowhere is this spiritual depth and insight more clearly manifest than in Rembrandt's self-portraits. And surely you know that he left us one hundred and twenty-two of these.
Why do you think he painted so many? They were his presonal plea to God to note the progress of this man who, through his close observation of others like him, had been completely religiously transformed. "This is my vision," said Rembrandt to God.
Towards the end of Rembrandt's life, the Devil grew suspicious. He did not want his minion to be creating such magnificent paintings, so full of warmth and kindness. He had believed the Dutch to be a materialistic and therefore wordly people. And here in pictures full of rich clothing and expensive possessions, gleamed the undeniable evidence that human beings are wholly unlike any other animal in the cosmos- they are precious mingling of flesh and immortal fire.
Well, Rembrandt suffered all the abuse heaped upon him by the Devil. He lost his fine house in the Jodenbreestraat. He lost his mistress, and finally even his son. Yet on and on he painted, without a trace or bitterness or perversity; on and on he infused his paintings with love.
Finally he lay on his deathbed. The Devil pranced about, gleefully, ready to snatch Rembrandt's soul and pinch it between his evil little fingers. But the angels and saints cried out for God to intervene.
"In all the world, who knows more about goodness?" they asked, pointed at the dying Rembrandt. "Who has shown more than this painter? We look to his portraits when we would know the divine in man."
And so God broke the pact between Rembrandt and the Devil. He took to himself the soul of Rembrandt, and the Devil, so recently cheated of Faust for the very same reason, went mad with rage.
Well, he would bury the life of Rembrandt in obscurity. He would see to it that all the man's personal possessions and records were swallowed by the great flow of time. And that is of course why we know almost nothing of Rembrandt's true life, or what sort of person he was.
But the Devil could not control the fate of the paintings. Try as he might, he could make people burn them, throw them away, or set them aside for the newer, more fashionable artists. In fact, a curious thing happened, seemingly without a marked beginning. Rembrandt became the most admired of all painters who had ever lived; Rembrandt became the greatest painter of all time.
That is my theory of Rembrandt and those faces.
Now if I were mortal, I would write a novel about Rembrandt, on this theme. But I am not mortal. I cannot save my soul through art or Good Works. I am a creature like the devil, with one difference. I love the paintings of Rembrandt!
Yet it breaks my heart to look at them. It broke my heart to see you there in the museum. And you are perfectly right that there are no vampires with faces like the saints of the Drapers' Guild.
That's why I left you so rudely in the museum. It was not the Devil's Rage. It was merely sorrow.
Again, I promise you that next time we meet, I shall let you say all that you want to say
(A letter from Lestat to David, from The Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice)
I myself have this theory about Rembrandt. I have spent many hours studying his paintings everywhere- in Amsterdam, Chicago, New York, or wherever I find them- and I do believe as I told you that so many great souls could not have existed as Rembrandt's paintings would have us believe.
This is my theory, and please bear in mind when you read it that it accommodates all the elements involved. And this accommodation used to be the measure of the elegance of theories... before the word "science" came to mean what it means today.
I believe that Rembrandt sold his soul to the Devil when he was a young man. It was a simple bargain. The Devil promised to make Rembrandt the most famous painter of his time. The Devil sent hordes of mortals to Rembrandt for portraits. He gave wealth to Rembrandt, he gave him a house in Amsterdam, a wife and later a mistress, because he was sure he would have Rembrandt's soul in the end.
But Rembrandt had been changed by his encounter with the Devil. Having seen such undeniable evidence of evil, he found himself obsessed with the question What is good? He searched the faces of his subjects for their inner divinity; and to his amazement he was able to see the spark of it in the most unworthy of men.
His skill was such- and please understand, he had got no skill from the Devil; the skill was his to begin with- that not only could he see that goodness, he could paint it; he could allow his knowledge of it, and his faith in it, to suffuse the whole.
With each portrait he understood the grace and goodness of mankind ever more deeply. He understood the capacity for compassion and for wisdom which resides in every soul. His skill increased as he continued; the flash of the infinite became ever more subtle; the person himself ever more particular; and more grand and serene and magnificent each work.
At last the faces Rembrandt painted were not flesh-and-blood faces at all. They were spiritual countenances, portraits of what lay within the body of the man or the woman; they were visions of what that person was at his or her finest hour, of what that person stood to become.
This is why the merchants of the Drapers' Guild look like the oldest and wisest of God's saints.
But nowhere is this spiritual depth and insight more clearly manifest than in Rembrandt's self-portraits. And surely you know that he left us one hundred and twenty-two of these.
Why do you think he painted so many? They were his presonal plea to God to note the progress of this man who, through his close observation of others like him, had been completely religiously transformed. "This is my vision," said Rembrandt to God.
Towards the end of Rembrandt's life, the Devil grew suspicious. He did not want his minion to be creating such magnificent paintings, so full of warmth and kindness. He had believed the Dutch to be a materialistic and therefore wordly people. And here in pictures full of rich clothing and expensive possessions, gleamed the undeniable evidence that human beings are wholly unlike any other animal in the cosmos- they are precious mingling of flesh and immortal fire.
Well, Rembrandt suffered all the abuse heaped upon him by the Devil. He lost his fine house in the Jodenbreestraat. He lost his mistress, and finally even his son. Yet on and on he painted, without a trace or bitterness or perversity; on and on he infused his paintings with love.
Finally he lay on his deathbed. The Devil pranced about, gleefully, ready to snatch Rembrandt's soul and pinch it between his evil little fingers. But the angels and saints cried out for God to intervene.
"In all the world, who knows more about goodness?" they asked, pointed at the dying Rembrandt. "Who has shown more than this painter? We look to his portraits when we would know the divine in man."
And so God broke the pact between Rembrandt and the Devil. He took to himself the soul of Rembrandt, and the Devil, so recently cheated of Faust for the very same reason, went mad with rage.
Well, he would bury the life of Rembrandt in obscurity. He would see to it that all the man's personal possessions and records were swallowed by the great flow of time. And that is of course why we know almost nothing of Rembrandt's true life, or what sort of person he was.
But the Devil could not control the fate of the paintings. Try as he might, he could make people burn them, throw them away, or set them aside for the newer, more fashionable artists. In fact, a curious thing happened, seemingly without a marked beginning. Rembrandt became the most admired of all painters who had ever lived; Rembrandt became the greatest painter of all time.
That is my theory of Rembrandt and those faces.
Now if I were mortal, I would write a novel about Rembrandt, on this theme. But I am not mortal. I cannot save my soul through art or Good Works. I am a creature like the devil, with one difference. I love the paintings of Rembrandt!
Yet it breaks my heart to look at them. It broke my heart to see you there in the museum. And you are perfectly right that there are no vampires with faces like the saints of the Drapers' Guild.
That's why I left you so rudely in the museum. It was not the Devil's Rage. It was merely sorrow.
Again, I promise you that next time we meet, I shall let you say all that you want to say
(A letter from Lestat to David, from The Tale of the Body Thief by Anne Rice)
Tuesday, July 26, 2005
BACK
I never appeciated how good it feels to be back!
After a month of travelling, I can honestly say that Dubai is where I'm the happiest. Ok, so maybe Metallica are never coming here, but this is still the place I know as home.
Russia was boring. The 3 weeks went on and on, and all I did was watch T.V. and play on the computer. I think I might have tried every single card arrangement of solitaire.
Austria was much better. We had a tour every day, lived in a hotel next to a delicious Chinese restaurant, a few steps away from Vienna's train stations Wastbahnhof. Nice.
We also visited Baden, where I was inspired by one of Beethoven's dwelling places.
Then we had a trip to Salsburg, where Mozart was born, and where he lived as well. Busy busy.
On the very last day we dropped in on Gratz, a very interesting city.
But still, nowhere beats Dubai. Now I just need to have a talk with Metallica's manager about their next (?) tour.
After a month of travelling, I can honestly say that Dubai is where I'm the happiest. Ok, so maybe Metallica are never coming here, but this is still the place I know as home.
Russia was boring. The 3 weeks went on and on, and all I did was watch T.V. and play on the computer. I think I might have tried every single card arrangement of solitaire.
Austria was much better. We had a tour every day, lived in a hotel next to a delicious Chinese restaurant, a few steps away from Vienna's train stations Wastbahnhof. Nice.
We also visited Baden, where I was inspired by one of Beethoven's dwelling places.
Then we had a trip to Salsburg, where Mozart was born, and where he lived as well. Busy busy.
On the very last day we dropped in on Gratz, a very interesting city.
But still, nowhere beats Dubai. Now I just need to have a talk with Metallica's manager about their next (?) tour.
Friday, July 08, 2005
My World
I live in my own world,
where no-one can touch me,
no-one can harm me,
I live far away from reality.
I walk as if in a dream,
expecting things that cannot be.
Nothing is what it seems,
I cannot open my eyes to see.
I am protected, defended.
I'm locked inside my thoughts.
I won't let anyone in, isolated.
I don't trust anyone, I cannot.
I rely entirely on my emotions.
I feel that no-one understands me.
Constant are my never-ending devotions,
Why can't anyone just let me be?
I am left alone, forgotten.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
Everything is left, rotten.
It's never enough, why do I ask for more?
All I have to myself is this.
Listen, I say, I am talking!
Who ever said that ignorance is bliss?
But they just carry on, walking.
I want to be taken seriously,
I want everyone to understand.
I can't spend my life alone, in misery.
But all they do is misunderstand.
This pain, loneliness is forever with me.
I want my closest to feel me.
I want their help, they ignore me.
If not them, who else can there be?
Despair gives way to numbness
I can't feel anything anymore.
That's why I live in a world of dreams,
where nothing is real anymore
By Obsession Pathetique, 7th July 2005
where no-one can touch me,
no-one can harm me,
I live far away from reality.
I walk as if in a dream,
expecting things that cannot be.
Nothing is what it seems,
I cannot open my eyes to see.
I am protected, defended.
I'm locked inside my thoughts.
I won't let anyone in, isolated.
I don't trust anyone, I cannot.
I rely entirely on my emotions.
I feel that no-one understands me.
Constant are my never-ending devotions,
Why can't anyone just let me be?
I am left alone, forgotten.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
Everything is left, rotten.
It's never enough, why do I ask for more?
All I have to myself is this.
Listen, I say, I am talking!
Who ever said that ignorance is bliss?
But they just carry on, walking.
I want to be taken seriously,
I want everyone to understand.
I can't spend my life alone, in misery.
But all they do is misunderstand.
This pain, loneliness is forever with me.
I want my closest to feel me.
I want their help, they ignore me.
If not them, who else can there be?
Despair gives way to numbness
I can't feel anything anymore.
That's why I live in a world of dreams,
where nothing is real anymore
By Obsession Pathetique, 7th July 2005
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
Goals
My Goals in Life:
- To see Metallica live in concert.
Not that it's going to fulfill, or anything. Just wishful thinking. But then again, I'm going to do my best to see them. If they don't come to Dubai, well, then I'll travel to America just to see them.
The only thing that scares me is... time. Time is running out, and Metallica aren't getting any younger. Oh, I wish they come here.
Feeling depressed :(
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Loverman
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you and that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman's going to be the answer to all of yours
I'll say it again
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for Oh yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain't gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
A is for ANY old how, darling
N is for ANY old time
Loverman, Garage Inc., Metallica
O is for ONLY you and that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman's going to be the answer to all of yours
I'll say it again
L is for LOVE, baby
O is for Oh yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain't gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
A is for ANY old how, darling
N is for ANY old time
Loverman, Garage Inc., Metallica
Saturday, July 02, 2005
Friday, July 01, 2005
Formulae
- Christina = Dana's psychologist
- Christina + Dana = Late night talks about life. (We came up with a formula of our own: No honey = no money)
- Christina + Kristoffer = Olympic skaters Chrystal and Christian (who will get their mothers genes and consequently forget their father's birthday is 13th July, not June).
- Christina + Elephants = Rabbits
- Christina + Basim = not something I want to think about
- Christina + Jerome = The Thing That Should Not Be
- Christina + Vova = World War III
- (Christina + N.E.R.D./Breathe) + (Dana + Metallica) + (Basim + Linkin Park) = 3(Nirvana)
- Christina + Julia Alieva = World War IV
- Christina + Skating = Obsession
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Good Omens
In fact the only things in the flat Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge and green and glorious, with shiny, healthy, lustrous leaves.
This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic plant mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants.
He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. 'Say goodbye to your friend,' he'd say to them. 'He just couldn't cut it...'
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.
From Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic plant mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants.
He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. 'Say goodbye to your friend,' he'd say to them. 'He just couldn't cut it...'
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.
From Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
MORE about ME
The x's are for things I HAVE done. (From Rishone's blog ----> click over there, you know you want to)
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Europe
( ) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
( ) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) madeout with a member of the same sex
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have had more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone skinny dipping
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) grown a beard
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Europe
( ) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
( ) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) madeout with a member of the same sex
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have had more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone skinny dipping
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) grown a beard
Thursday, June 16, 2005
A Certain Person
Everyone has a best friend.
Well, most of the time is best friends, plural, but there's always one you feel attached to the most, the one who understands you the best.
I found mine in Grade 5. I remember clearly I immediately envied her blonde, straight hair. Why couldn't I have straight hair? It wasn't fair.
We had so much in common, yet we were so different. We were both book-worms, spent most of our time in the school library. In grade 5 we were very similar. It's now that we changed.
I can't say who was the "leader" in this frienship. I guess neither was. We made all our decisions together, and most of the time it wasn't a problem, we usually agreed on everything. But at the same time we didn't. It was a strange relationship.
Now she's definitely more out-going than I am. It used to be the opposite. We both like to speak our minds. And she's brutally honest. Like if you're wearing something that's not very nice, and ask me about it, I'd say "It's OK", she'd say, "NO WAY, take that OFF".
It was also the kind of friendship where we hardly ever fought. Yes, obviously, we had our little arguments, but it was never very serious. I don't know how we managed as we were, or rather are, very stubborn.
And even though we left our separate ways, (well, I did, anyway), she's always the first one I call when I need advice. She never refused to listen when I talked on and on about this and that. I think I was always the talker, and she, the listener. She knows me best, and she knows what kind of things I need to hear to calm me down.
We'd been through a lot together. But that was never a problem, because everyone has problems once in a while. It's telling your friend about them that's really important, because keeping them to yourself would never help.
Believe me, I know.
Well, most of the time is best friends, plural, but there's always one you feel attached to the most, the one who understands you the best.
I found mine in Grade 5. I remember clearly I immediately envied her blonde, straight hair. Why couldn't I have straight hair? It wasn't fair.
We had so much in common, yet we were so different. We were both book-worms, spent most of our time in the school library. In grade 5 we were very similar. It's now that we changed.
I can't say who was the "leader" in this frienship. I guess neither was. We made all our decisions together, and most of the time it wasn't a problem, we usually agreed on everything. But at the same time we didn't. It was a strange relationship.
Now she's definitely more out-going than I am. It used to be the opposite. We both like to speak our minds. And she's brutally honest. Like if you're wearing something that's not very nice, and ask me about it, I'd say "It's OK", she'd say, "NO WAY, take that OFF".
It was also the kind of friendship where we hardly ever fought. Yes, obviously, we had our little arguments, but it was never very serious. I don't know how we managed as we were, or rather are, very stubborn.
And even though we left our separate ways, (well, I did, anyway), she's always the first one I call when I need advice. She never refused to listen when I talked on and on about this and that. I think I was always the talker, and she, the listener. She knows me best, and she knows what kind of things I need to hear to calm me down.
We'd been through a lot together. But that was never a problem, because everyone has problems once in a while. It's telling your friend about them that's really important, because keeping them to yourself would never help.
Believe me, I know.
Monday, June 06, 2005
Desire, Despair, Destiny, Delirium, Dream, Death
Let us pause for a minute, as they descend the great steps towards Destiny's banqueting hall, to consider the Endless.
Desire is of medium height. It is unlikely that any portrait will ever do Desire justice, since to see her (or him) is to love him (or her)- passionately, painfully, to the exclusion of all else.
Desire smells almost subliminally of summer peaches, and casts two shadows: one black and sharp-edged, the other translucent and forever wavering, like heat haze.
Desire smiles in brief flashes, like sunlight glinting from a knife-edge. And there is much else that is knife-like about Desire.
Never a possession, always the possessor, with skin as pale as smoke, and eyes tawny and sharp as yellow wine: Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are.
Everything.
Despair, Desire's sister and twin, is queen of her own bleak bourne. It is said that scattered through Despair's domain are a multitude of tiny windows, hanging in the void. Each window looks out onto a different scene, being, in our world, a mirror. Sometimes you will look into a mirror and feel the eyes of Despair upon you, feel her hook catch and snag on your heart.
Her skin is cold, and clammy; her eyes are the colour of sky, on the grey, wet days that leach the world of colour and meaning; her voice is little more than a whisper; and while she has no odour, her shadow smells musky, and pungent, like the skin of a snake.
Destiny is the oldest of the Endless; in the Beginning was the Word, and it was traced by hand on the first page of his book, before ever was it spoken aloud.
Destiny is also the tallest of the Endless, to mortal eyes.
There are some who believe him to be blind; whilst others, perhaps with more reason, claim that he has travelled far beyond blindness, that indeed, he can do nothing but see: that he sees the fine traceries the galaxies make as they spiral through the void, that he watched the intricate patterns living things make on their journey through time.
Destiny smells of dust and the libraries of night.
He leaves no footprints.
He casts no shadow.
Delirium is the youngest of the Endless.
She smells of sweat, sour wines, late nights, old leather.
Her realm is close, and can be visited; however, human minds were not made to comprehend her domain, and those few who have made the journey have been incapable of reporting back more than the tiniest fragments.
The poet Coleridge claimed to have known her intimately, but the man was an inveterate liar, and in this, as in so much, we must doubt his word.
Her appearance is the most variable of all the Endless, who, at best, are ideas cloaked in the semblance of flesh. Her shadow's shape and outline have no relationship to that of any body she wears, and it is tangible, like old velvet.
Some say the tragedy of Delirium is her knowledge that, despite being older than suns, older than gods, she is forever the youngest of the Endless, who do not measure time as we measure time, or see the worlds through mortal eyes.
Others deny this, and say that Delirium has no tragedy, but here they speak without reflection.
For Delirium was once Delight. And although that was long ago now, even today her eyes are badly matched: one is a vivid emerald green, spattered with silver flecks that move; her other eye is vein blue.
Who knows what Delirium sees, through her mismatched eyes?
Dream of the Endless: ah, there's a conundrum.
In this aspect (and we perceive but aspects of the Endless, as we see the light glinting from one tiny facet of some huge and flawlessly cut stone), he is rake-thin, with skin the colour of falling snow.
Dream accumulates names to himself like others make friends; but he permits himself few friends.
If he is closest to anyone, it is to his elder sister, whom he sees but rarely.
He heard long ago, in a dream, that one day in every century Death takes on mortal flesh, better to comprehend what the lives she takes must feel like, to taste the bitter tang of mortality: that this is the price she must pay for being the divider of the living from all that has gone before, all that must come after.
He broods on this tale, but has never questioned her about its truth. Perhaps he fears that she would answer him.
Of all the Endless, save perhaps Destiny, he is most conscious of his responsibilities, the most meticulous in their execution.
Dream casts a human shadow, when it occurs to him to do so.
And there is Death.
From Sandman by Neil Gaiman, Dream Country, Season of the Mists, Prologue.
Desire is of medium height. It is unlikely that any portrait will ever do Desire justice, since to see her (or him) is to love him (or her)- passionately, painfully, to the exclusion of all else.
Desire smells almost subliminally of summer peaches, and casts two shadows: one black and sharp-edged, the other translucent and forever wavering, like heat haze.
Desire smiles in brief flashes, like sunlight glinting from a knife-edge. And there is much else that is knife-like about Desire.
Never a possession, always the possessor, with skin as pale as smoke, and eyes tawny and sharp as yellow wine: Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are.
Everything.
Despair, Desire's sister and twin, is queen of her own bleak bourne. It is said that scattered through Despair's domain are a multitude of tiny windows, hanging in the void. Each window looks out onto a different scene, being, in our world, a mirror. Sometimes you will look into a mirror and feel the eyes of Despair upon you, feel her hook catch and snag on your heart.
Her skin is cold, and clammy; her eyes are the colour of sky, on the grey, wet days that leach the world of colour and meaning; her voice is little more than a whisper; and while she has no odour, her shadow smells musky, and pungent, like the skin of a snake.
Destiny is the oldest of the Endless; in the Beginning was the Word, and it was traced by hand on the first page of his book, before ever was it spoken aloud.
Destiny is also the tallest of the Endless, to mortal eyes.
There are some who believe him to be blind; whilst others, perhaps with more reason, claim that he has travelled far beyond blindness, that indeed, he can do nothing but see: that he sees the fine traceries the galaxies make as they spiral through the void, that he watched the intricate patterns living things make on their journey through time.
Destiny smells of dust and the libraries of night.
He leaves no footprints.
He casts no shadow.
Delirium is the youngest of the Endless.
She smells of sweat, sour wines, late nights, old leather.
Her realm is close, and can be visited; however, human minds were not made to comprehend her domain, and those few who have made the journey have been incapable of reporting back more than the tiniest fragments.
The poet Coleridge claimed to have known her intimately, but the man was an inveterate liar, and in this, as in so much, we must doubt his word.
Her appearance is the most variable of all the Endless, who, at best, are ideas cloaked in the semblance of flesh. Her shadow's shape and outline have no relationship to that of any body she wears, and it is tangible, like old velvet.
Some say the tragedy of Delirium is her knowledge that, despite being older than suns, older than gods, she is forever the youngest of the Endless, who do not measure time as we measure time, or see the worlds through mortal eyes.
Others deny this, and say that Delirium has no tragedy, but here they speak without reflection.
For Delirium was once Delight. And although that was long ago now, even today her eyes are badly matched: one is a vivid emerald green, spattered with silver flecks that move; her other eye is vein blue.
Who knows what Delirium sees, through her mismatched eyes?
Dream of the Endless: ah, there's a conundrum.
In this aspect (and we perceive but aspects of the Endless, as we see the light glinting from one tiny facet of some huge and flawlessly cut stone), he is rake-thin, with skin the colour of falling snow.
Dream accumulates names to himself like others make friends; but he permits himself few friends.
If he is closest to anyone, it is to his elder sister, whom he sees but rarely.
He heard long ago, in a dream, that one day in every century Death takes on mortal flesh, better to comprehend what the lives she takes must feel like, to taste the bitter tang of mortality: that this is the price she must pay for being the divider of the living from all that has gone before, all that must come after.
He broods on this tale, but has never questioned her about its truth. Perhaps he fears that she would answer him.
Of all the Endless, save perhaps Destiny, he is most conscious of his responsibilities, the most meticulous in their execution.
Dream casts a human shadow, when it occurs to him to do so.
And there is Death.
From Sandman by Neil Gaiman, Dream Country, Season of the Mists, Prologue.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
About ME
Hey Got this for Komal's site (click KOMAL on the right, you won't regret it ;)) Anyway here's a little more about me :)
SURVEY
Name: Dana
Birthday: 13th November 1988
Birthplace: Dubai, UAE
Current Location: Dubai, UAE
Eye Color: Mixture of brown and green
Hair Color: Dark Blonde
Height: no idea :)
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Mum is Russian, Dad Bahraini, although his family is originally from Iran
The Shoes You Wore Today: Ecco Slippers
Your Weakness: Chocolate
Your Fears: Airplanes and changes
Your Perfect Pizza: Any!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Pass Solo Piano Performer's Cert.
Your Most Overused Phrase: hunh
Thoughts First Waking Up: What day is it today?
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes :)
Your Bedtime: After I read my book :)
Your Most Missed Memory: All those from Sharjah Choueifat
Pepsi or Coke: What's the difference?
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's (shameful, I know)
Single or Group Dates: Group!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither, I don't drink coffee
Do you Smoke: Nop
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: haaaa
Do you Shower Daily: yep
Have you Been in Love: yes, and I miss that feeling.
Do you want to go to College: university
Do you want to get Married: maybe, who knows?
Do you belive in yourself: yes, most of the time
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes
Do you think you are Attractive: I don't know :)
Are you a Health Freak: Just watch me eat all that junk food
Do you get along with your Parents: Occasionally
Do you like Thunderstorms: Who?
Do you play an Instrument: Yes, Piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no.. yuck
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no..
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: no
Ever been called a Tease: no no no
Ever been Beaten up: na-ah
Ever Shoplifted: no..
How do you want to Die: I don't want to die.. and I try not to think about it..
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: No idea
What country would you most like to Visit: J'adore England
IN A BOY/GIRL...
Favourite Eye Color: It doesn't really matter
Favourite Hair Color: Dark :)
Short or Long Hair: Shoulder length.
Height: taller than me
Weight: Not too heavy :)
Best Clothing Style: Anything
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: One million
Number of Piercings: 3
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: quite a few
SURVEY
Name: Dana
Birthday: 13th November 1988
Birthplace: Dubai, UAE
Current Location: Dubai, UAE
Eye Color: Mixture of brown and green
Hair Color: Dark Blonde
Height: no idea :)
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Mum is Russian, Dad Bahraini, although his family is originally from Iran
The Shoes You Wore Today: Ecco Slippers
Your Weakness: Chocolate
Your Fears: Airplanes and changes
Your Perfect Pizza: Any!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Pass Solo Piano Performer's Cert.
Your Most Overused Phrase: hunh
Thoughts First Waking Up: What day is it today?
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes :)
Your Bedtime: After I read my book :)
Your Most Missed Memory: All those from Sharjah Choueifat
Pepsi or Coke: What's the difference?
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's (shameful, I know)
Single or Group Dates: Group!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither, I don't drink coffee
Do you Smoke: Nop
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: haaaa
Do you Shower Daily: yep
Have you Been in Love: yes, and I miss that feeling.
Do you want to go to College: university
Do you want to get Married: maybe, who knows?
Do you belive in yourself: yes, most of the time
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes
Do you think you are Attractive: I don't know :)
Are you a Health Freak: Just watch me eat all that junk food
Do you get along with your Parents: Occasionally
Do you like Thunderstorms: Who?
Do you play an Instrument: Yes, Piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no.. yuck
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no..
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: no
Ever been called a Tease: no no no
Ever been Beaten up: na-ah
Ever Shoplifted: no..
How do you want to Die: I don't want to die.. and I try not to think about it..
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: No idea
What country would you most like to Visit: J'adore England
IN A BOY/GIRL...
Favourite Eye Color: It doesn't really matter
Favourite Hair Color: Dark :)
Short or Long Hair: Shoulder length.
Height: taller than me
Weight: Not too heavy :)
Best Clothing Style: Anything
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: One million
Number of Piercings: 3
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: quite a few
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