Passenger

Roll the windows down, this cool night air is curious...

You stop the car by the side of the road. To the left of us, a two lane road; one for each direction. To the right, a thick forest of trees. I'm looking out towards the side. If I concentrate hard enough, I can pretend that the car isn't here, I am alone and none of this is really happening.

The night air is cold and crisp, feeling sharp against my skin. Maybe too pure for my liking. I take out my last cigarette and breathe in the intense smell of tobacco before I put it to my mouth. The lighter give its usual hot, dancing flame- a sight I've been mesmerized by on many occasions- and the usual crackle of burnt paper followed by a thick plume of smoke is comforting.

“So now what?”

I let out an internal sigh. I just want to shut everything off. Let the night do the talking, let me think. Why must we have answers to everything, why can't we just let things happen and leave them be?

Let the whole world look in, who cares who sees anything-

I throw the cigarette away and let out my last breath of smoke. Turn around and look at you, for the first time since we got in this car.

Your eyes are inquisitive. In a sudden, intense rush I realize how much I hate you.

Before I have time to think, before my heart has time to take its next beat, I'm leaning over to kiss you. I don't care about you and I don't care about anything. But I need this to calm me.

It doesn't take long for me to leave my seat and have my back towards the wheel. I know what you're thinking but I'm infinitely aware of my surroundings. I want to leave, for you to lose me in the forest. So I could look up at the stars and see something that's wrong, and to hear the night talk to me.

But I need to stay, just like always.

I'm your passenger.






(This story was partially inspired by the Deftones song The Passenger found here: Youtube link)