BACK

I never appeciated how good it feels to be back!
After a month of travelling, I can honestly say that Dubai is where I'm the happiest. Ok, so maybe Metallica are never coming here, but this is still the place I know as home.
Russia was boring. The 3 weeks went on and on, and all I did was watch T.V. and play on the computer. I think I might have tried every single card arrangement of solitaire.
Austria was much better. We had a tour every day, lived in a hotel next to a delicious Chinese restaurant, a few steps away from Vienna's train stations Wastbahnhof. Nice.
We also visited Baden, where I was inspired by one of Beethoven's dwelling places.
Then we had a trip to Salsburg, where Mozart was born, and where he lived as well. Busy busy.
On the very last day we dropped in on Gratz, a very interesting city.
But still, nowhere beats Dubai. Now I just need to have a talk with Metallica's manager about their next (?) tour.

My World

I live in my own world,
where no-one can touch me,
no-one can harm me,
I live far away from reality.

I walk as if in a dream,
expecting things that cannot be.
Nothing is what it seems,
I cannot open my eyes to see.

I am protected, defended.
I'm locked inside my thoughts.
I won't let anyone in, isolated.
I don't trust anyone, I cannot.

I rely entirely on my emotions.
I feel that no-one understands me.
Constant are my never-ending devotions,
Why can't anyone just let me be?

I am left alone, forgotten.
But it doesn't matter anymore.
Everything is left, rotten.
It's never enough, why do I ask for more?

All I have to myself is this.
Listen, I say, I am talking!
Who ever said that ignorance is bliss?
But they just carry on, walking.

I want to be taken seriously,
I want everyone to understand.
I can't spend my life alone, in misery.
But all they do is misunderstand.

This pain, loneliness is forever with me.
I want my closest to feel me.
I want their help, they ignore me.
If not them, who else can there be?

Despair gives way to numbness
I can't feel anything anymore.
That's why I live in a world of dreams,
where nothing is real anymore

By Obsession Pathetique, 7th July 2005

Goals

My Goals in Life:

1. To see Metallica live in concert.

Not that it's going to fulfill, or anything. Just wishful thinking. But then again, I'm going to do my best to see them. If they don't come to Dubai, well, then I'll travel to America just to see them.

The only thing that scares me is... time. Time is running out, and Metallica aren't getting any younger. Oh, I wish they come here.

Feeling depressed :(

Loverman

L is for LOVE, baby
O is for ONLY you and that I do
V is for loving VIRTUALLY EVERYTHING that you are
E is for loving almost EVERYTHING that you do
R is for RAPE me
M is for MURDER me
A is for ANSWERING all of my prayers
N is for KNOWING your loverman's going to be the answer to all of yours

I'll say it again

L is for LOVE, baby
O is for Oh yes I do
V is for VIRTUE, so I ain't gonna hurt you
E is for EVEN if you want me to
R is for RENDER unto me, baby
M is for that which is MINE
A is for ANY old how, darling
N is for ANY old time

Loverman, Garage Inc., Metallica

Lexus

Formulae

1. Christina = Dana's psychologist
2. Christina + Dana = Late night talks about life. (We came up with a formula of our own: No honey = no money)
3. Christina + Kristoffer = Olympic skaters Chrystal and Christian (who will get their mothers genes and consequently forget their father's birthday is 13th July, not June).
4. Christina + Elephants = Rabbits
5. Christina + Basim = not something I want to think about
6. Christina + Jerome = The Thing That Should Not Be
7. Christina + Vova = World War III
8. (Christina + N.E.R.D./Breathe) + (Dana + Metallica) + (Basim + Linkin Park) = 3(Nirvana)
9. Christina + Julia Alieva = World War IV
10. Christina + Skating = Obsession

Good Omens

In fact the only things in the flat Crowley devoted any personal attention to were the houseplants. They were huge and green and glorious, with shiny, healthy, lustrous leaves.
This was because, once a week, Crowley went around the flat with a green plastic plant mister, spraying the leaves, and talking to the plants.
He had heard about talking to plants in the early seventies, on Radio Four, and thought it an excellent idea. Although talking is perhaps the wrong word for what Crowley did.
What he did was put the fear of God into them.
More precisely, the fear of Crowley.
In addition to which, every couple of months Crowley would pick out a plant that was growing too slowly, or succumbing to leaf-wilt or browning, or just didn't look quite as good as the others, and he would carry it around to all the other plants. 'Say goodbye to your friend,' he'd say to them. 'He just couldn't cut it...'
Then he would leave the flat with the offending plant, and return an hour or so later with a large, empty flower pot, which he would leave somewhere conspicuously around the flat.
The plants were the most luxurious, verdant, and beautiful in London. Also the most terrified.

From Good Omens, by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman

MORE about ME

The x's are for things I HAVE done. (From Rishone's blog ----> click over there, you know you want to)
( ) smoked a cigarette
( ) smoked a cigar
( ) crashed a friend's car
( ) stolen a car
(x) been in love
( ) been dumped
( ) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) snuck out of your parent's house
(x) had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
( ) been arrested
( ) made out with a stranger
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend
(x) had a crush on a teacher
(x) been to Europe
( ) skipped school
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) seen someone die
(x) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
(x) eaten Sushi
( ) been snowboarding
(x) met someone in person from the internet
( ) been moshing at a concert
(x) had real feelings for someone you knew only online
( ) been in an abusive relationship
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) laid on your back and watched cloud shapes go by
( ) made a snow angel
( ) had a tea party
( ) flown a kite
(x) built a sand castle
(x) gone puddle jumping
(x) played dress up
( ) jumped into a pile of leaves
( ) gone sledding
(x) cheated while playing a game
(x) been lonely
( ) fallen asleep at work/school
( ) used a fake id
(x) watched the sun set
( ) felt an earthquake
(x) touched a snake
( ) slept beneath the stars
(x) been tickled
(x) been robbed
(x) been misunderstood
(x) petted a reindeer/goat
(x) won a contest
( ) ran a red light
( ) been suspended from school
(x) been in a car accident
(x) had braces
(x) felt like an outcast
(x) eaten a whole pint of ice cream in one night
(x) had deja vu
(x) danced in the moonlight
(x) hated the way you look
( ) witnessed a crime
( ) pole danced
(x) questioned your heart
( ) been obsessed with post-it notes
( ) madeout with a member of the same sex
(x) squished barefoot through the mud
( ) been lost
(x) been to the opposite side of the country
(x) swam in the ocean
( ) felt like dying
(x) cried yourself to sleep
( ) played cops and robbers
(x) recently colored with crayons/colored pencils/markers
( ) sung karaoke
( ) paid for a meal with only coins
(x) done something you told yourself you wouldn't
( ) made prank phone calls
(x) laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
( ) caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) danced in the rain
( ) written a letter to Santa Claus
( ) been kissed under a mistletoe
(x) watched the sun rise with someone you care about
(x) blown bubbles
(x) made a bonfire on the beach
( ) crashed a party
(x) gone rollerskating
(x) had a wish come true
( ) humped a monkey
(x) worn pearls
( ) jumped off a bridge
( ) screamed penis in class
( ) ate dog/cat food
(x) told a complete stranger you loved them
( ) kissed a mirror
(x) sang in the shower
( ) have a little black dress
( ) had a dream that you married someone
(x) glued your hand to something
( ) got your tongue stuck to a flag pole
( ) kissed a fish
(x) worn the opposite sexes clothes
( ) been a cheerleader
(x) sat on a roof top
(x) screamed at the top of your lungs
( ) done a one-handed cartwheel
( ) talked on the phone for more than 6 hours
(x) stayed up all night
( ) didnt take a shower for a week
(x) picked and ate an apple right off the tree
(x) climbed a tree
( ) had a tree house
(x) are scared to watch scary movies
( ) believe in ghosts
( ) have had more then 30 pairs of shoes
( ) worn a really ugly outfit to school just to see what others say
( ) gone streaking
( ) gone skinny dipping
( ) played ding-dong-ditch
( ) had someone moon/flash you
(x) cheated on a test
(x) have a Britney Spears CD
(x) forgotten someones name
( ) slept naked
( ) French braided someones hair
( ) grown a beard

A Certain Person

Everyone has a best friend.
Well, most of the time is best friends, plural, but there's always one you feel attached to the most, the one who understands you the best.
I found mine in Grade 5. I remember clearly I immediately envied her blonde, straight hair. Why couldn't I have straight hair? It wasn't fair.
We had so much in common, yet we were so different. We were both book-worms, spent most of our time in the school library. In grade 5 we were very similar. It's now that we changed.
I can't say who was the "leader" in this frienship. I guess neither was. We made all our decisions together, and most of the time it wasn't a problem, we usually agreed on everything. But at the same time we didn't. It was a strange relationship.
Now she's definitely more out-going than I am. It used to be the opposite. We both like to speak our minds. And she's brutally honest. Like if you're wearing something that's not very nice, and ask me about it, I'd say "It's OK", she'd say, "NO WAY, take that OFF".
It was also the kind of friendship where we hardly ever fought. Yes, obviously, we had our little arguments, but it was never very serious. I don't know how we managed as we were, or rather are, very stubborn.
And even though we left our separate ways, (well, I did, anyway), she's always the first one I call when I need advice. She never refused to listen when I talked on and on about this and that. I think I was always the talker, and she, the listener. She knows me best, and she knows what kind of things I need to hear to calm me down.
We'd been through a lot together. But that was never a problem, because everyone has problems once in a while. It's telling your friend about them that's really important, because keeping them to yourself would never help.
Believe me, I know.

Desire, Despair, Destiny, Delirium, Dream, Death

Let us pause for a minute, as they descend the great steps towards Destiny's banqueting hall, to consider the Endless.
Desire is of medium height. It is unlikely that any portrait will ever do Desire justice, since to see her (or him) is to love him (or her)- passionately, painfully, to the exclusion of all else.
Desire smells almost subliminally of summer peaches, and casts two shadows: one black and sharp-edged, the other translucent and forever wavering, like heat haze.
Desire smiles in brief flashes, like sunlight glinting from a knife-edge. And there is much else that is knife-like about Desire.
Never a possession, always the possessor, with skin as pale as smoke, and eyes tawny and sharp as yellow wine: Desire is everything you have ever wanted. Whoever you are. Whatever you are.
Everything.

Despair, Desire's sister and twin, is queen of her own bleak bourne. It is said that scattered through Despair's domain are a multitude of tiny windows, hanging in the void. Each window looks out onto a different scene, being, in our world, a mirror. Sometimes you will look into a mirror and feel the eyes of Despair upon you, feel her hook catch and snag on your heart.
Her skin is cold, and clammy; her eyes are the colour of sky, on the grey, wet days that leach the world of colour and meaning; her voice is little more than a whisper; and while she has no odour, her shadow smells musky, and pungent, like the skin of a snake.

Destiny is the oldest of the Endless; in the Beginning was the Word, and it was traced by hand on the first page of his book, before ever was it spoken aloud.
Destiny is also the tallest of the Endless, to mortal eyes.
There are some who believe him to be blind; whilst others, perhaps with more reason, claim that he has travelled far beyond blindness, that indeed, he can do nothing but see: that he sees the fine traceries the galaxies make as they spiral through the void, that he watched the intricate patterns living things make on their journey through time.
Destiny smells of dust and the libraries of night.
He leaves no footprints.
He casts no shadow.

Delirium is the youngest of the Endless.
She smells of sweat, sour wines, late nights, old leather.
Her realm is close, and can be visited; however, human minds were not made to comprehend her domain, and those few who have made the journey have been incapable of reporting back more than the tiniest fragments.
The poet Coleridge claimed to have known her intimately, but the man was an inveterate liar, and in this, as in so much, we must doubt his word.
Her appearance is the most variable of all the Endless, who, at best, are ideas cloaked in the semblance of flesh. Her shadow's shape and outline have no relationship to that of any body she wears, and it is tangible, like old velvet.
Some say the tragedy of Delirium is her knowledge that, despite being older than suns, older than gods, she is forever the youngest of the Endless, who do not measure time as we measure time, or see the worlds through mortal eyes.
Others deny this, and say that Delirium has no tragedy, but here they speak without reflection.
For Delirium was once Delight. And although that was long ago now, even today her eyes are badly matched: one is a vivid emerald green, spattered with silver flecks that move; her other eye is vein blue.
Who knows what Delirium sees, through her mismatched eyes?

Dream of the Endless: ah, there's a conundrum.
In this aspect (and we perceive but aspects of the Endless, as we see the light glinting from one tiny facet of some huge and flawlessly cut stone), he is rake-thin, with skin the colour of falling snow.
Dream accumulates names to himself like others make friends; but he permits himself few friends.
If he is closest to anyone, it is to his elder sister, whom he sees but rarely.
He heard long ago, in a dream, that one day in every century Death takes on mortal flesh, better to comprehend what the lives she takes must feel like, to taste the bitter tang of mortality: that this is the price she must pay for being the divider of the living from all that has gone before, all that must come after.
He broods on this tale, but has never questioned her about its truth. Perhaps he fears that she would answer him.
Of all the Endless, save perhaps Destiny, he is most conscious of his responsibilities, the most meticulous in their execution.
Dream casts a human shadow, when it occurs to him to do so.

And there is Death.

From Sandman by Neil Gaiman, Dream Country, Season of the Mists, Prologue.

About ME

Hey Got this for Komal's site (click KOMAL on the right, you won't regret it ;)) Anyway here's a little more about me :)

SURVEY
Name: Dana
Birthday: 13th November 1988
Birthplace: Dubai, UAE
Current Location: Dubai, UAE
Eye Color: Mixture of brown and green
Hair Color: Dark Blonde
Height: no idea :)
Right Handed or Left Handed: Right
Your Heritage: Mum is Russian, Dad Bahraini, although his family is originally from Iran
The Shoes You Wore Today: Ecco Slippers
Your Weakness: Chocolate
Your Fears: Airplanes and changes
Your Perfect Pizza: Any!
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year: Pass Solo Piano Performer's Cert.
Your Most Overused Phrase: hunh
Thoughts First Waking Up: What day is it today?
Your Best Physical Feature: Eyes :)
Your Bedtime: After I read my book :)
Your Most Missed Memory: All those from Sharjah Choueifat
Pepsi or Coke: What's the difference?
McDonalds or Burger King: McDonald's (shameful, I know)
Single or Group Dates: Group!
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee: Neither, I don't drink coffee
Do you Smoke: Nop
Do you Swear: Yes
Do you Sing: haaaa
Do you Shower Daily: yep
Have you Been in Love: yes, and I miss that feeling.
Do you want to go to College: university
Do you want to get Married: maybe, who knows?
Do you belive in yourself: yes, most of the time
Do you get Motion Sickness: Yes
Do you think you are Attractive: I don't know :)
Are you a Health Freak: Just watch me eat all that junk food
Do you get along with your Parents: Occasionally
Do you like Thunderstorms: Who?
Do you play an Instrument: Yes, Piano
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol: no
In the past month have you Smoked: no
In the past month have you been on Drugs: no
In the past month have you gone on a Date: no
In the past month have you gone to a Mall: yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos: no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi: no.. yuck
In the past month have you been on Stage: no
In the past month have you been Dumped: nope
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping: no..
In the past month have you Stolen Anything: nope
Ever been Drunk: no
Ever been called a Tease: no no no
Ever been Beaten up: na-ah
Ever Shoplifted: no..
How do you want to Die: I don't want to die.. and I try not to think about it..
What do you want to be when you Grow Up: No idea
What country would you most like to Visit: J'adore England
IN A BOY/GIRL...
Favourite Eye Color: It doesn't really matter
Favourite Hair Color: Dark :)
Short or Long Hair: Shoulder length.
Height: taller than me
Weight: Not too heavy :)
Best Clothing Style: Anything
Number of Drugs I have taken: 0
Number of CDs I own: One million
Number of Piercings: 3
Number of Tattoos: 0
Number of things in my Past I Regret: quite a few